Anubis Statue For Sale: When Your Interior Design Needs A Little Afterlife Action

18 Aug 2024
us
Emil

Is your apartment giving… more “Ikea catalog” than “tomb raider chic”? You’ve swapped out your string lights for something a little more *moody*. Your bookshelf boasts more “banned books” than “beach reads.” Maybe you’ve even, dare I say, attempted to DIY your own sarcophagus… out of cardboard boxes (we’ve all been there). So what’s missing? What’s the *one* thing that screams, “I’m not afraid of a little ancient energy in my living room?”

An Anubis statue, obviously.

Okay, before you roll your eyes and call me dramatic (I know, I know, you’re all about subtlety), hear me out. Anubis, the jackal-headed god of the underworld, isn’t just for dusty museum exhibits and that one really intense scene in “The Mummy.” He’s having a moment, people. A resurgence. A comeback tour worthy of Cher (another icon with a thing for dramatic flair, just saying).

Think about it: Anubis statues are basically the ultimate conversation starters. Forget boring old coffee table books – imagine your friends casually sipping wine beneath the watchful gaze of a three-foot-tall deity. Suddenly, that awkward silence about whose turn it is to order takeout transforms into a lively debate about ancient Egyptian burial rituals. See? Instant ambiance upgrade.

Plus, let's be real, haven’t we all, at some point, wished we had a supernatural being on hand to judge our questionable life choices? ("Anubis, be honest, was that third slice of pizza really necessary?"). Having an Anubis statue around is like having a live-in conscience, except way less judgemental and much better at holding secrets (seriously, have you ever tried getting a word out of a statue?).

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Finding an actual Anubis statue for sale that doesn’t cost more than my rent? Good luck.” But trust me, the internet (specifically, the slightly weirder, more wonderful corners of the internet) is a magical place. From Etsy artisans handcrafting miniature Anubis figurines to antique dealers with (allegedly) authentic relics from King Tut’s vacation home, there’s an Anubis statue out there for every budget and aesthetic.

But with great power (or at least, great interior design) comes great responsibility. Before you go full Indiana Jones and start bidding on any vaguely canine-shaped artifact, a few things to keep in mind…

First off, size matters. Do you want a subtle statement piece for your bedside table, or are we talking full-on “Night at the Museum” vibes? Trust me, measuring your apartment (and your tolerance for side-eye from your landlord) is crucial before you hit “checkout.”

Then there’s the question of authenticity. Are we talking mass-produced resin, or something with a little more historical heft? (And by “historical heft,” I obviously mean “potentially haunted,” because who doesn't love a good ghost story?).

Finally, and perhaps most importantly: placement. Anubis, for all his underworld cred, was also known for his role as a protector. So while propping him up next to your neon flamingo lights might seem ironic, it might not exactly align with his, shall we say, *spiritual energy*. (Think of it as the feng shui equivalent of playing death metal at a funeral – just maybe not the best vibe).

Whether you're drawn to their historical significance, their enigmatic aura, or simply the fact that they look damn cool on a mantlepiece, there’s no denying that Anubis statues are having a moment. So why not embrace the trend? After all, life's too short for boring decor. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, you can always tell people it's for protection… from bad taste, obviously.